Three of the most difficult words for many of us to say are, "I don't know."
Culturally and socially, we are conditioned to provide quick, confident answers as a sign of competence and leadership. As a result, there is considerable fear and shame around admitting that we don't know something.
For example, think back to when you were in school. If a teacher called on you for an answer, "I don't know" was not the answer they wanted or expected to hear. And often, it would elicit snickers from classmates.
In our careers, admitting we don't know something to our manager or clients makes us feel inept, inadequate, and uncomfortable.
Culturally and socially, we are conditioned to provide quick, confident answers as a sign of competence and leadership. As a result, there is considerable fear and shame around admitting that we don't know something.
For example, think back to when you were in school. If a teacher called on you for an answer, "I don't know" was not the answer they wanted or expected to hear. And often, it would elicit snickers from classmates.
In our careers, admitting we don't know something to our manager or clients makes us feel inept, inadequate, and uncomfortable.
In most situations, admitting we don't have all the answers makes us feel ashamed and uninformed.
But, in reality, how are we supposed to know everything? The best researchers and scientists always begin from a place of seeking answers and information. This starting point is then admitting that they don't know.
When we admit out loud that we don't have all of the answers, we begin to dispel the chokehold our shame of "not knowing" holds over us. It also helps to normalize that not knowing everything is much more common than the alternative.
But, in reality, how are we supposed to know everything? The best researchers and scientists always begin from a place of seeking answers and information. This starting point is then admitting that they don't know.
When we admit out loud that we don't have all of the answers, we begin to dispel the chokehold our shame of "not knowing" holds over us. It also helps to normalize that not knowing everything is much more common than the alternative.
Stepping into a space of acknowledging to ourselves and others that we don't know frees us to be curious and learn. Openness and curiosity enable us to increase our competency and knowledge of a subject rather than hide behind the illusion of having all the answers.
One of Shakespeare's famous quotes is, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."
In a Forbes article titled, "The Power of Saying "I Don't Know," author Gaurav Gutpa writes, For leaders, admitting when you don't know something can be a real opportunity to engage your team if you say, "I don't know, what do you think?" or "I don't know, but I would like to. Can you help me figure it out?" Your willingness to admit when you don't have all the answers and your curiosity to find them will lead to better decision making and greater trust within your team. This authentic approach will speak to your character as a leader. What is less obvious (but no less true) is that asking good questions to find the right answers will also enhance the view of your competence as a leader.
Whether we are a leader in a company, in our family, friend group, or any other capacity, the transparency of stating that we don't have all the information is powerful. It shows wisdom, vulnerability and makes us more approachable.
Our ability to learn about the myriad of subjects that we don't know about is right at our fingertips. Books, YouTube videos, podcasts, online classes and workshops, online research and articles... Our opportunity to become more learned has never been more readily available.
When we step aside from this fear and shame, we can ask questions, engage our curiosity, explore new subjects, and ultimately have more knowledge because we stated, "I don't know."
One of Shakespeare's famous quotes is, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."
In a Forbes article titled, "The Power of Saying "I Don't Know," author Gaurav Gutpa writes, For leaders, admitting when you don't know something can be a real opportunity to engage your team if you say, "I don't know, what do you think?" or "I don't know, but I would like to. Can you help me figure it out?" Your willingness to admit when you don't have all the answers and your curiosity to find them will lead to better decision making and greater trust within your team. This authentic approach will speak to your character as a leader. What is less obvious (but no less true) is that asking good questions to find the right answers will also enhance the view of your competence as a leader.
Whether we are a leader in a company, in our family, friend group, or any other capacity, the transparency of stating that we don't have all the information is powerful. It shows wisdom, vulnerability and makes us more approachable.
Our ability to learn about the myriad of subjects that we don't know about is right at our fingertips. Books, YouTube videos, podcasts, online classes and workshops, online research and articles... Our opportunity to become more learned has never been more readily available.
When we step aside from this fear and shame, we can ask questions, engage our curiosity, explore new subjects, and ultimately have more knowledge because we stated, "I don't know."
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