The New Year symbolizes a fresh start, with many people making resolutions. Often these are things like losing weight, getting fit or eating healthier. These are all great resolutions, but we wanted to pose ten other possibilities that can make an enormous impact on your wellbeing, relationships, career and overall happiness.
 
Here is a list of ten things to quit in the year ahead. Whether you pick one or work on all of them, these are resolutions that will make life so much better. 

​1. Trying to please everyone
2. Fearing change

Many of us believe that our education and technical prowess make us employable. Sure, those things may get our resume read more closely and even get us in the door of a company.

When surveyed, CEOs listed four primary characteristics of an invaluable employee:

1. Adaptability: These people are ready and willing to change, to learn from experience and be flexible as the need arises. They are open to new ideas, new situations, new solutions and are more resilient and able to connect with their colleagues even in the midst of uncertainty.

2. Able to receive constructive feedback:  Individuals who are able to hear constructive feedback from their leaders and peers and use that information to improve are highly valued. They view feedback as a growth opportunity and don't take criticism personally.

​Limbo is uncomfortable. It is that awkward state of “in between,” the place set smack in the middle of where you are and where you will be.
 
Whatever the reason for it, limbo finds all of us at various times in life. This in between state of being, especially if it lingers, can foster frustration, uncertainty, worry, stress, anxiety, fear, and a lack of fulfillment. 
 
From limbo often sprout thoughts of, “What’s the point?” and “Why bother?” We put our life on hold in anticipation of the impending change whose occurrence and timeframe are ethereal. 
 
When we are in limbo, opportunities go unclaimed.
 
Relationships go undiscovered or sometimes unnurtured.
 
Adventure and happiness may slip by.
 
All in anticipation of waiting for that something to happen “soon.”
 
We’ve all been there. And it can be hard to let go and know that whatever happens, we will be okay.

We all know how important it is to invest in our romantic relationships, making special gestures of affection, planning for the future, and spending quality time together. Making this same investment of time and energy is just as important with our friends. All relationships need continual nurturing to sustain them and make them grow. Extending love, support, and energy to friends will ensure your relationship with each individual remains strong and deeply rooted. 
 
True friendships:

• Are respectful, thoughtful, and consistent
• Honor commitments, have boundaries and reasonable expectations
• Give one another special attention and invest in their future together as friends 

Our biological families are ones with which we are born. Friends are the people we’ve chosen as our extended family. They provide love, support, fun, community, and very often a deep understanding and acceptance of us. True friends deserve special attention and focused energy.  
 
Here are five ways to express your love and appreciation to your chosen friend family.
 
1.Thoughtful Gestures
Find ways to express your appreciation for each of your friends in a way that is tailored to them. Think of all the special things you might do for a new romantic partner and do these for your friends. Bring them their favorite meal for lunch, send them a card just because, make a mix CD of their favorite songs, offer to pet sit when they’re away, bring them homemade soup when they’re sick, offer to help them write their resume or help them plan a vacation. You get the picture. These types of thoughtful gestures will make them feel special, loved, and supported. It will also deepen your relationship.

Businessman, author, and philanthropist David Novak believes there's a tremendous lack of recognition in the world today, something he calls global recognition deficit.
 
According to a Gallup poll, only 33% of workers are actually engaged in their jobs. That leaves close to 70% of people who are simply going through the motions at work. They aren’t engrossed in their work, aren’t motivated, or inspired.
 
Novak believes this can be attributed to the lack of recognition, not only in the workplace but in the world. There are multiple studies and statistics that support this conviction including these stats based on research by OC Tanner as well as studies done by Novak’s own company.

• 79% of employees that quit their job state the primary reason for them leaving was a lack of appreciation.
• 65% of Americans claimed they weren’t recognized at all in 2018
• 82% of employees feel their managers don’t recognize their contributions
• 60% state they are motivated more by recognition than money

Saying no to a friend, coworker, loved one, or even your manager can be awkward and uncomfortable but is a skill that many of us need to develop. Refusing a request can be done in a way that maintains relationships and doesn’t blanket you with guilt.
 
Patti Breitman says in her book, “How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty, ”Saying no comfortably and without guilt requires you to really think about what you stand for. Why are you saying no? As you learn to eliminate unwanted obligations from your life, what are you making room for? When you can identify and embrace your priorities and focus on what you want more of—for example, time with the family, money for an important project or cause—you feel more justified saying no in order to pursue those goals.”
 
When we say yes but really want to say no, we are focused on pleasing others to the potential detriment of our time, our wellbeing, and our boundaries.

We all have goals and dreams, things we aspire to achieve. But there are those of us who seem to make steady progress toward these achievements while others of us always seem to fall short.
 
What is the defining factor between these two groups?
 
People who fail to make progress toward their goals don’t take the time to reflect on what didn’t work. Instead, they continue on with the same habits, attitudes, and decisions that lead them to their current place of stagnation.
 
This is like a ship’s captain setting a course at the outset of the voyage and never making adjustments, even after encountering winds, strong currents, and storms that pushed the ship off course. 
 
On the flip side, successful people regularly take time to reflect on the past. This is as important as planning for the future, and in fact, helps guide them toward aligning their behaviors, habits, schedules, and decisions with their desired outcome of success.

​As a society, our primary focus is on achievement and success. The pressure to perform and the heightened expectation of success is a burden that weighs us down, decreasing our enthusiasm and robbing us of the ability to experience joy. 
 
An accomplished life frequently equates to our career. But there is so much more to life than work. When we define our life’s purpose solely on our level of success in our jobs, this can leave us feeling devoid of joy.
 
In her book, “Joyful,” Ingrid Fetell Lee reveals how important it is to nurture joy in our lives.
 ​
Joy is all about feeling good in the moment. Kindled by our five senses, joy is what we feel when we watch puppies playing, hear the belly laugh of a baby, see the stunning beauty of a rainbow, or are immersed in the rich serene colors of a sunset.

Find your passion and you’ll never work another day in your life.
 
We’ve all heard people say this, or maybe we’ve even been given this advice. We’re told we will wake up each and every day feeling like life is a vacation. Work will be easy and fun. We will be excited, motivated, and inspired because we will live every day doing what we love.
 
But what if you’re someone who doesn’t have a passion, or hasn’t discovered it yet? Or maybe the thing you’re passionate about can’t financially support you and your family?

What then?
 
To paraphrase Steve Jobs, passion helps you persevere during the tough times. 

It doesn’t mean life will always be fun or easy. But doing something you are passionate about will keep you in the game, give you the mental and emotional fortitude to hang in there when quitting seems like the easiest option.  
 
There is a big difference between work that makes us happy and work that is meaningful. The way many people talk about finding our passion makes it sound like this will make us happy.  But if we find work that has meaning, it may be potentially more challenging but it also gives us a higher level of career fulfillment and satisfaction. 
 
If we get caught up in the “passion trap,” many of us will be on an endless search, leaving us feeling disillusioned. In our quest for happiness over meaning, we might end up overlooking or dismissing some really great career opportunities. 
 
Instead, let’s reframe how we view work. 
 
Sometimes, we need to find work that works for us. This means assessing our lives at this point in time and making responsible decisions. What this doesn’t mean is staying in or taking a job we hate or that sucks the life out of us. But it is absolutely acceptable to work in a job that you aren’t passionate about if you need to pay the mortgage, pay off student loans, or support yourself.  That is perfectly okay and for many of us, this is realistic and responsible. We can find meaning in work that works for us where we are, right now.
 
Passion shouldn’t always be the driving force for work. If that were the case, there would most like be a LOT of us who simply wouldn’t be employed.
 
Instead, if we apply the best of ourselves to something and do our utmost to learn and grow, quite often we can find meaningful work. It won’t always be fun. It won’t always be easy. It sure as heck won’t feel like every day is a vacation. But it will be fulfilling.  
 
To hear more about this topic, listen to the Pick the Brain podcast episode called “What we’ve been told about passion is BS.”

Rejection is not something most people enjoy or even understand how to effectively handle. Typically, we do our best to avoid rejection because, let’s face it, being refused hurts. It makes us uncomfortable, fearful, and embarrassed. It erodes our self-confidence and makes us doubt our self-worth.
 
Yet like most things in life, rejection is a reality. We can do our best to run from it but is that really doing us any good?
 
By developing a healthy relationship with rejection, we can come to terms with it, using it to our advantage. When we shift our rejection mindset from one of fear to opportunity, we can reframe it as a chance to stay engaged, offer explanations, and even negotiate.