When to be Grateful for Indecisiveness

Embrace your indecisiveness because it may help you to make a good choice. ~ Karin Sieger

We’ve all encountered people (possibly even ourselves) who can’t make a decision, even about the simplest of things. The tendency to be tentative or uncertain, especially on a regular basis, can negatively impact our creativity, result in anxiety and depression, as well lead to conflict with others as they become impatient with our lack of progress.

According to UK-based psychotherapist, Karin Sieger, there are times in life when indecisiveness has an upside. This is especially true when we are going through a significant transition in life. Often we need to settle into our new normal before we implement any additional decisions.

There are many reasons for the inability to make decisions including:

• Fear of making a mistake
• Lack of trust in ourselves to make the right decision
• Avoiding blame
• Risk aversion
• Not having the proper decision-making tools
• Being afraid to say no and instead, taking a stance of uncertainty
• Fear our decision may cause conflict with others
• An inability to make commitments

Responding to indecisiveness with frustration can be counterproductive: We may end up feeling stuck, even more confused and unclear.

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When we come to a place of indecision, to assist us in moving forward, Karin suggests that it is helpful to take an honest look at why we are “sitting on the fence.”

1. Recognize that we are not yet in a place to make a decision: “I am not ready yet.”
2. Acknowledge that being in limbo may cause us to feel frustrated.
3. Allow ourselves to be indecisive but explore this indecision” “Why can’t I make a decision?” “What is holding me back?”

By taking this step back, we give ourselves more space to gain an understanding of why we aren’t able to make a decision.  By acknowledging our frustration over our indecisiveness, we loosen its hold. When we realize we aren’t ready to make a choice just yet, we can then listen to our inner voice and arrive at answers on what is holding us back.

During a time of transition, be this the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, a change of career, relocating to a new city, state, or country, the birth of a child, becoming an empty nester, dealing with illness….whatever the change, it is acceptable to give ourselves the time and space to shift into our new normal. 

As Karin Sieger puts it, “now is not a good time to “pull ourselves together.”  Our ideas and possibilities need time to mature, and we may soon come to a point when we intuitively know that we are ready to move on” and make a decision.