Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other belong to themselves. ~Louise Bernikow
Women are the central pillars of a family, providing integral care for children, their spouses, extended family and this care often extends into the community. This outpouring of care can and does leave women feeling depleted. This is where the power of female friendship comes in.
Natural nurturers and empathic givers, women innately understand how to support one another. Being with other women with whom you connect on a deep level is restorative and grounding.
Another study discovered that men and women respond very differently to stress. When under stress, the body goes into a ‘fight or flight’ response and releases cortisol and oxytocin. In women, oxytocin minimizes the ‘fight or flight’ reaction, encouraging them to protect and nurture and to gather with other women for support and encouragement.
When under stress, men produce high levels of testosterone, which reduces the calming effects of oxytocin. As such, men are more inclined to deal with stress with aggression (fight) or withdrawal (flight). Women produce estrogen, enhancing the effects of oxytocin and encouraging them to seek social support.
This ‘tend and befriend’ inclination has been observed in females of all species. By gathering with others, even more oxytocin is released, resulting in further reduction of stress and providing a calming effect.
Activist and actress Jane Fonda says of the difference between the friendships of men and women, “Women have ‘face-to-face friendships while men have ‘side-by-side’ friendships. Friendship between women is different than friendship between men. We talk about different things. We delve deep. We go under, even if we haven’t seen each other for years. There are hormones that are released from women to other women that are healthy and do away with the stress hormones. It’s my women friends that keep starch in my spine and without them, I don’t know where I would be. We have to just hang together and help each other.”
Enjoy this Ted Talk where longtime friends Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin discuss the power of female friendships.
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.